May 28, 2009


…out to lunch?

*     *     *     *     *

“C, you slapped Powell around pretty good the other day on Scheiffer’s show,” says N.

“That son-of-a-bitch needs to be knocked down a few notches. Who the hell does he think he is – votin’ for a f—ing Dem. I don’t care if he is black!”

“That’s right!” says R through a puff of cigar smoke. “We have to keep these whimps in line. They need to know who’s in charge.”

“And now we have a racist Latino woman nominated for the Supreme Court,” notes N. “That sure gives you plenty to talk about on your show, doesn’t it R?”

“I’ve always got plenty to talk about. When you make it up, you never run out of material.”

“HA!” snorts C. “And we have to keep “makin’ it up,” too. Our way is the ONLY way back to power.”

“Damn right!” huffs N. “Say, how about you and I runnin’ in 2012? With R promoting us, we can’t lose. The party would come ROARING back!”

“You might have somethin’ there N,” C agrees. “I get the top of the ticket. I’m probably only good for one term anyway.”

“What about Palin?” asks R.

“We can give her a job in our administration. She’d take Secretary of State,” C replies.

“I’m not sure she’s ready,” N says questioningly.

“SURE she is!” blurts R, still enamoured with her from the 2008 election. “State’s a cake-walk. Have somebody tell her what to say, show her how to dress, and make sure her family stays home!”

“I hate to break up this Sarah love-fest, but what’s next for us and the party?” N asks.

“I’ll keep pounding away at national security. Since I started runnin’ my mouth, my ratings have gone from sixteen to twenty-nine percent. I keep this up and I’ll be over fifty in no time,” says C.

“I’ll keep going after the SCOTUS nominee,” N chimes in. “By the time I’m done with her, she’ll be apologizing for being Latino. That’ll send that socialist President we have back to the drawing board to look for someone who thinks like us.”

“And looks like us, too!” R says.

“How about you, R?’ asks N. “Are you planning anything special to help revive our party?”

“I’ll do what I do best. I’ll keep bullshitin’ my way through a radio show everyday. The hours are good, they pay ain’t bad, and…”

“AIN’T BAD? You think fifty million a year ‘ain’t bad’ for runnin’ your mouth three hours a day, makin’ shit up as you go?” snaps C.

“It’s okay” says R, smiling. “But I’m gonna ask for a pay raise if you guys win. After all, we’re in a recession.”

“We’re gonna win!” N gloats. “There’s no way this party is gonna become extinct.

 *     *     *     *     *

Hmm. Sometimes, you can make this stuff up. 🙂






PS – Special thanks to Jonathan Alter for the R (Rush), N (Newt), C (Cheney) idea.

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