November 6, 2009


Meatloaf‘s tune describes the path to the ever-elusive goal of “paradise” in a car with great humor, music and lyrics.

I am not about to disclose actual events – I have a wife and children who don’t need every detail of my mid-to-late teen life, nor do I need every detail of theirs. We’ve all been there, right?

If you haven’t, you’re too young to read this post.

Let’s examine what we had to work with back then. True, most cars had bench seats in front, which made some “moves” easier. But that’s where any assistance from auto manufacturers came to a screeching halt.


A shoulder blade into a hard, unpadded steering wheel or an elbow into the all-steel dash would “deflate” things quickly. I was convinced interior designers had no libidos.

Edsel Dash

Nothing says “oh, forget it” like her head smacking into a metal window crank or door handle.


And, God forbid, your car had an add-on air conditioning unit.


As for the dashboard lights? Too bright: you wouldn’t even get past first base. Too dim: you wouldn’t be able to see anything if you did get past first base – which is why she wanted them off!

So why not go to the back seat?

If you don’t know the answer, I can’t help you. Okay, I won’t help you. TMI

But change is inevitable and today, apparently, libidos are considered when designing interiors. There’s great padding on everything.


The replacement of the bench seat with two bucket seats probably helps with getting to the back seat, and closer to the “goal.”

I wouldn’t know.

By the time I had a car with bucket seats, I owned a couch. 🙂





  1. […] Original post by Michael Kontras […]

  2. And still, I’m left wondering why the back seat wasn’t an option??????

    • I’ll send you an e-mail. I have young nieces and nephews who may land on these pages earlier than later, and I don’t want to have that conversation with their parents.

  3. I too need to know why the back seat was not an option. Glad I am not the only one!

  4. Yeah… Back seat may require more testing of the skill of the guy’s ability to sway his wouldbe prey (the girl) into the big moves… but then, how could you possibly want to sacrifice all that great auto-gear??? It just looks soooo cool-like Flash Gordon come to life!!!! 😛

    • I must admit, Flash Gordon did not come to mind when I assembled the graphics for this post, but the idea certainly does fit.

      Thanks for responding.


  5. our door handles broke easily that is why we are now using tempered steel or tempered bronze’*’

    • Now THAT’S an interesting comment coming from a person whose pseudonym is “Beautiful Boobs.” I actually didn’t know about the tempered bronze.

      Thanks for responding.


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