Posts Tagged ‘John Boehner’

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IF YOU CAN’T DAZZLE ‘EM WITH BRILLIANCE…

April 26, 2009

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You may remember the saying, “If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, baffle ’em with bullshit.” I remember trying the BS portion of this “strategy” in high school on essay exams when I thought the teacher wasn’t thoroughly reading each paper. I’m nearly certain it never worked.

Unfortunately, the BS portion has been successful for Republicans – until the 2008 Presidential Election. However, since the inauguration of President Obama, it has been a monumental failure.

I’m not sure if people are finally starting to see through their tactics, or if there are simply more of us now demanding the nuance that has been painfully absent in politics and policies over the last decade. Either way, the Republicans are desperate to redefine themselves in what they are calling “Re-branding.”

Many corporations have used re-branding to revitalize their image. They create a new marketing plan which is usually followed by new products, fresh ideas and new business concepts.

The Republican Party thinks it can do the same thing with one big difference: They intend to use the same ideas that have failed to address the real needs of this country for nearly 30 years.

And the name for their “new” idea? The National Council for a New America, headed by none other than John McCain. And his is not the only “fresh face” in this new council. There’s also Mitt Romney, Dick Army, Haley Barbour, and many more. They have also recruited not-ready-for-prime-time Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA) and Rep. John Boehner’s (R-OH) echo chamber, Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA).

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This is stupidity on steroids.

The NCNA will be answering to congressional members such as John Boehner and Mitch McConnell – two leaders that helped the Republican Party to lose BIG in the 2006 and 2008 elections.

One additional “new” face is… Newt Gingrich. (Eye roll, please.)

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His website, www.AmericanSolutions.com shows a 12-step plan for revitalizing our economy. It’s basically two words: Tax Cuts. The rest is fluff. No nuance. No substance. It’s similar to what he espoused 15 years ago, when he was Speaker of the House and concocted “The Contract with America.”

Much like Barney Fife, the Republicans are about to shoot themselves in the foot.

An old man who used to come into the little pub I owned years ago once told me, “You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit, no matter how much mayonnaise you put in it.”

Words to live by.

Sincerely,

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www.MichaelKontras.com

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CO2 and DINOSAUR FARTS

April 23, 2009

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Unlike many in my generation, I’ve lived in the same city all of my life, so I have first-hand knowledge of the changes in climate here. The summers seem slightly warmer and the winters much milder than 30 years ago. Obviously, there is nothing scientific about my “findings.” According to my mother, when I was born there was 13 inches of snow on the ground.

The last time I saw extremely large amounts of snow was the “Blizzard of ’78” when much of Ohio was hit with a HUGE storm. There were areas that received several feet of snow. It is still very vivid in my mind. I was performing in a band called “Reflection” at the time and we had to travel back to Columbus from an engagement on the coast of Lake Erie that cancelled two days in due to the weather. The following year, we had two-digit sub-zero temperatures for 21 consecutive days in January, but hardly any snow.

Since that time, I can’t recall a winter that has been as severe as those two. This past winter, I saw the temperature fall below zero for two or three days with minus six being the lowest temp of the season on January 16th.

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I am the first to admit that I know very little about Global Warming. I’ve watched some specials on it, read a few articles and listened to Al Gore. If you would like to read the latest report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, be my guest. Based on my extremely limited knowledge, I believe there are shifts in our climate. I’m still not completely convinced that all are man-made, although some reasonably current evidence seems to be leaning strongly in that direction.

Since this latest report was released, there have been some absurd comments coming from politicians who appear to know even less than I do about the subject.

Here’s Minority Leader Rep. John Boehner (R-OH).

Apparently, Rep. Boehner doesn’t know the difference between exhaling and flatulence. (Insert joke here)

Fortunately for him, Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) also had a flatulent response.

It’s time for prayer: God; please guide me away from all the fart jokes that are, at this moment, saturating my brain. Amen.

There’s nothing more to say.

Sincerely,

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www.MichaelKontras.com

 

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NO BEEF?

March 28, 2009

wheresbeefTwo weeks ago, the Obama Administration showed their brilliant strategic thinking by suggesting that Rush Limbaugh is now the leader of the Republican Party. Rush and the media took the bait – hook, line and sinker. (See Checkers and Chess)

Here we go again.

As is customarily done by the minority party, the Republicans are criticizing the President’s 2010 Budget. On March 24th the President asked why the Republicans have not presented their budget plan. At that time, there was no Republican plan – only amendments. Then two days later, their “budget” miraculously appeared.

I put the word “budget” in quotes for a reason. Here’s their plan. For those that don’t want to read through it, here’s a quick two-point analysis and the reason for my title:

(1) The plan is 19 pages. I’ve had to present small church budgets that had more pages. Here’s the President’s plan – 142 pages.

(2) There are no real numbers in the plan. Let me repeat this in case you missed it: THERE WERE NO REAL NUMBERS PRESENTED IN THE REPUBLICAN BUDGET PLAN.

Huh?

Here’s the gotcha: The Republicans are the opposition / minority party and therefore, are not required to present a budget. So why would these seasoned politicians allow themselves to be baited into doing something that they didn’t have to do? Then, to add insult to injury, they try to fake their way through a press conference presenting a pretty blue binder with less pages inside than a grocery store newsletter.

The Republican leaders have been in Washington for years. Don’t they know how to play the game better than a former junior senator? They campaigned saying that then candidate Obama did not have enough experience to handle the presidency.

Really? It seems to me the “rookie” just sidelined his opponents – again.

Needless to say, the questions started flying from the press about the lack of numerical data in the plan. It was obvious the Republicans were not ready.

In a very weak attempt to respond, Minority Leader Rep. John Boehner (R-OH), had to back track on calling the document a budget, instead calling it a blueprint for the budget that they “…will present next week.”

Maybe that’s when they’ll add the beef.

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At this moment, I’m actually starting to become genuinely concerned about the state of the Republican Party.

Okay, the moment passed.

Now, I’d like an 10oz. Angus Burger, medium well, with fries and a cool one.

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Sincerely,

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www.MichaelKontras.com